Welcome to the Gray Whale Anchor Inn

Australian Jokes



An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small town and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun.

Ventriloquist: Hey, good looking dog, mate. Mind if I speak to him?

New Zealander: The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.

Ventriloquist: Hey dog, how's it going old mate?

Dog: Doin' alright.

The New Zealander is shocked!

Ventriloquist: Is this Kiwi your owner? (Pointing at the New Zealander)

Dog: Yep.

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Dog: Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play.

The New Zealander can't believe his ears!

Ventriloquist: Mind if I talk to your horse?

New Zealander: Horse doesn't talk either.

Ventriloquist: Hey horse, how's it going?

Horse: No worries.

The New Zealander's mouth is agape.

Ventriloquist: Is this your owner? (Pointing at the New Zealander?)

Horse: Yep.

Ventriloquist: How's he treat you?

Horse: Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.

The New Zealander is TOTALLY amazed!

Ventriloquist: Mind if I talk to your sheep?

New Zealander: The sheep's a liar.